Five Month Mark

Today we officially hit the five month mark. That means that we are officially nearing the end of this deployment--if things go as they are theoretically supposed to (and this is the Navy so that's a big IF).

The thing is, I really thought this would feel different. I thought it would feel exciting and exhilirating and triumphant because--the end is near!

Maybe it is the winter blahs coupled with the stress of the last year catching up with me, but despite the fact that we're now well under the fifty day mark, it still feels like it will be such a long time since we're together again.

Maybe my heart can't begin to hope.

Maybe I'm just conditioned to feel like this after trying to keep myself settled about it for so long.

There are men and women who have had to endure deployment for 12 and 14 and 16 months with our current events of the day. I admire the strength that they have so much. We may see longer stretches that this one, but for this first deployment this has been quite enough.

Maybe the excitement will come soon. For now, I feel like I just need to keep plodding along. I can't let myself feel too hopeful yet.