John and Abigail

When I was in High School one of my favorite teachers, Mr. Stebbins, had us watch a series of videos produced for PBS about the American Revolution. I remember several things about this video series--#1: We wanted to watch ALL of it (Mr. Stebbins was a wonderful teacher, but could put you to sleep rather quickly). #2: There was a crazy British historian named, "Colin Bonwick" and I loved his name, and #3: I found that I ADORED all the quotes supplied by Abigail Adams.

Now it turns out I guess, that Andy's family is somehow very distantly related to Mr. John Adams. So the Adams' are brought to mind from time to time.

Husband brought along David McCollough's (feel free to correct my spelling of that) book John Adams to read during deployment. Because of that he's read a great deal of John and Abigail's correspondences during their very extensive separations caused by the founding of this country.

What we are finding is that we really relate to both of them--especially to their letters. I've googled the Adams' a couple of times since husband has been gone only to find something in Abigail's letters truly resonating within me. I also found that John's words sounded very much like the 1700s version of husband's at times.

Last night, when husband called (one of his last calls to come from where he is currently), he said to me, "The more I read about her, the more I think you are like Abigail. She was a woman who had very big thoughts, but she also had many fears which she overcame again, and again."

He said this to me after a night of finding myself very convicted of my tendency to live in my fears. I am beginning to see very clearly how my spots of, "I just can't do that," correspond with the guardedness of my nature coming from my fear. I am discovering that this fear keeps me from feeling and healing and fully relating to others. And sadly it keeps me from the fullness of intimacy with my husband. With his help, I want to learn to break through these fears. That he said that last night gave me great courage, and the timing couldn't have been more perfect.

Abigail in general gives me great courage. She dealt with years of separation from her husband at a time when running a household meant a great deal more work, toil, and sacrifice than it does today, and her love and admiration and respect for John never waivered. Nor did her courage.

I want to be like Abigail.

Great necessities call out great virtues. Abigail Adams